Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Personal Log 005 - Farewells


We are withdrawing from Oasis. It has been an excellent learning experience, and as of now I can not say that I regret it. My only real wish would be to continue to stay, to colonize this place in the name of the Nomad Church. That of course would be contrary to our beliefs, and as such we will move on with the rest of those of Stillwater who have joined us here.


It is still hard for us. The Chief Engineer of the Maranatha has stated that he would prefer to have her serviced, with all of the anomalous system activations that have occurred. The Morocco has had similar anomalous system activations, notably in the engines and attitude adjustment thrusters.


Morale is subdued, but still high. I caught a few of the Sisters saying prayers on one of the observation decks.  They smiled as they prayed, and after it was over they stood there, staring out at the sun, the planet, the moon. They smiled. Not the semi-forced smile that was common among the Sisters of the Nomad Church, but true smiles. I think, in the end, this was a greater lesson for them to learn than I could ever have taught them. Perhaps a lesson for myself as well.


As they began to relax, I spoke. "Do not see this as an end, Sisters. See it as a point on a continuum, from which we have learned something of Creation, and now must move on." They turned, and one of them wiped tears from her eyes.


So, with a heavy heart, preparations for moving on are being made. The Morocco's crew will be far easier to move back to Empire. They were a newer crew, and did not quite understand what they had signed on for. Stillwater had supplied the vessel, but it was a rushed assignment for most of the crewmen.


Personal


I cried. I cried for the first time... since I can remember. I don't know why, or even how... they said I wouldn't. The Voice was not there either, and it has not been back. I feel alone, like I have been abandoned. This place... this place called to me once. I found it, in Penirgman. Then Stillwater found it, and brought me back. The next time I am here... the next time, I know it will be the last.
This will be my Place of Rest.

No comments: