Diary of a Drone

Changing Situations

2011-02-04T03:22:00.000-08:00

I cried today.

Situations change, not always for the better, but sometimes not for the worse. They just change, and emotions are released. Cold as it sounds, I cried, and felt nothing. I smiled at that. Not out of joy, but out of acceptance. Understanding my situation is terrifying, liberating, and freeing.

I said I'd go there today. I didn't. Other things came up, and I hope I am forgiven. I may not make it there for a few days. Situations beyond my control keep occurring. They'll understand or they won't.

It's how things go I guess. One day they go well, others...

...they just are.

New Image //Deceiver's Voice//

2011-01-28T20:10:00.000-08:00

My new Capsuleer License image.

I smiled. It didn't last long.

The future. I hardly think about it, but I did yesterday. Unexpectedly. I spoke with her. Nervous at first, truly nervous, but it got better. Far better. Not sure if it's real or not. Situation is changing too rapidly. Too many variables.

I guess I will simply have to go where the path takes me. That's all I can ever do. Situations...

...changing...
.
.
.
It's too quiet.

Recollections 002: The Path

2010-12-13T16:14:00.000-08:00

You've seen part of the truth, this... is an attempt to get everything out in the open, here and now, before everything falls apart. Please forgive the prose, it's the best way for me to remember.

***

Because I need to tell someone. The only way I can, is this way. I hope you understand. I am sorry.

I tried, Rallence, I really did. I simply wanted you to be at peace.

-Nikiruu

Amarr VIII (Oris) - Emperor Family Academy
111.01.05

Lord Amann Karris leaned against the railing. Below he could see the various denizens of the station going about their business. He felt closer to what he used to be when he stood there, staring down at the masses. Often he had gone to that spot, contemplating his past, his future, and his purpose.

Today was the first time he had gone there and known who he truly was. He smiled to himself, as the path before him had finally become clear.

"Amann," said the woman to his side, "I know you have made up your mind. That is not what I am arguing with you about."

"Niki, I know my path. I know where I belong. To be honest, I can continue without you, and perhaps I will achieve just as much." Amann turned to the woman, still smiling. "Your skills are replaceable, but you are not."

"You're the second person to tell me that in the past week." Niki sighed and turned, looking out over the promenade. "Alright... I will do this. For you, and only you, Amann."

He smiled to himself, even wider now. "Thank you." Amann placed his hand on Nikilaiki's, and squeezed it gently. "You know the path, it is time we walked it together."

Niki turned and smiled weakly at Amann. "It's too quiet."

"I know. We will find it again, don't worry." Amann pulled Niki closer to him, and held her. "We will find it again."

Recollections 001: The Old Fool

2010-12-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Shanto was known as the village drunk. Every day he sat on the same barstool. For as long as anyone could remember he had been there, a drunk who never seemed to run out of ISK. No one ever really paid attention to him, no one ever asked questions.

One day when he was sitting in the bar, the bartender asked him about his story, why he was there and never seemed to run out of ISK to pay for drinks.

"It's a joke, you see," Shanto said, "probably the best one you'll ever hear."

"Really?" The bartender looked at Shanto and squinted, as if trying to discern if he was telling the truth or not.

"Yes... and it will cost you. I never want to pay for a drink again."

Smiling, the bartender agreed. Shanto drank the cheapest liquor in the bar anyway, so it was not like the old man would put him out of business if he did indeed have an interesting story. "Tell you what, good or bad, you have my word you won't have to pay for another drink here, the rest of your life."

"Good." He chugged down his drink, and slammed it down. "Fill me up, and I'll tell you the story of how I came to be a drunk."

***

Old Konso hated new deliveries. Sitting and standing through hours upon hours of cataloging and inspecting wore on him. The livestock were almost always unruly at first, some downright homicidal. The medical exams were cursory at best, nonexistent at worst. Cataloging had been streamlined, of course. Implanting numbered chips and scanning said chips into the database along with blood sample and skeletal scan.

At first he didn't hear the commotion coming from the docking ring. He had learned to tune out a good measure of the fighting and yelling that inevitably occurred on delivery days. This noise, this struggle happening outside the reception center, was something new though. He raised his head. When he saw the source of the commotion he stood and approached it, guards close behind him.

“You there, what do you think you're doing?” The... well, Konso never called the livestock “people”, but this person was apparently something of a celebrity to the new livestock delivery. In fact, a good number of the livestock seemed to be cheered on by many in the crowd. Old Konso, who prided himself on knowing the lineage of any livestock based solely on their build, was baffled.

When the livestock turned, the old man narrowed his eyes. Indeed, there was something familiar about this one. “You... I've seen you somewhere before.” Indeed, as Konso looked closer he realized his error. “Oh... oh excuse me your Lordship... I-I...” Konso stumbled to find the words, but in the end he just stopped talking.

“You are supervisor here, correct?” The Lord's voice was steady and confident, with no hint of anger or malice. “Speak, quickly.”

“Yes sir, I am the supervisor here.” Konso bowed his head and cowered. “I beg your forgiveness.”

“Do not worry, you are not in trouble.” The Lord smiled, amused. “In fact, I shall grant you your freedom should you assist me in a simple matter.”

Old Konso's eyes lit up, and he listened.

“Konso, if you can find me a perfect woman, one without flaw among these wretched livestock I shall grant you your freedom.”

“But Lord, that is impossible!”

The men surrounding the Lord began to laugh. “Is that so?” said the Lord. “Then I guess you shall stay a slave.. in fact, who is your immediate inferior?”

As Konso's eyes lowered, a young guard raised his hand. “Good, Konso, this young man is now your master. Treat him as you would me.” The Lord looked at the young man and smiled lovingly. “A woman whom I know has been wrongfully captured in a raid. I want her found. She is a woman without flaw... if you can find her with only that as your guide, I shall grant your freedom, as well as the entire allotment of slaves delivered today.”

The young man, stunned, nodded his head.

***

The bartender shook his head. “I don't get it, Shanto. What's the punchline?”

The drunk old man laughed, followed by a loud cough. “I was the young man,” Shanto said, nearly falling off his barstool. “Found the woman in two hours, then lost the slaves I won four hours later in a card game. I've been drinking ever since.”

"But how come you never run out of ISK?"

"You don't have enough Ship's Whiskey to pay for that story, young man. I don't think my body could collect on it either." He winked and stood up. "I'll be back tomorrow. Keep my barstool open."

The bartender shook his head and laughed. "You got it, friend."

Sleeper Research Log 003: Audio Transcript, Undated

2010-12-10T22:03:00.001-08:00

"So she was a neural interface specialist before the accident?"

"No. She was a pod interface specialist."

"Ah, I see."

"No you don't."

"Don't worry, I'll figure it out. I always do."

"No you won't."

"Just full of optimism today aren't we?"

"No we're not."

***

"Miss Ruutarhara, how are we today?"

"We are fine; you seem flustered."

"Pardon?"

"Frustration. Voice fluctuations and pulse rate, erratic breathing. Lack of eye contact and..."

"Enough."

"Yes, enough."

"You told the guards you had something new."

"Yes, we require access to all information in regards to the Jovians."

"Oh. Nothing new, just a new theory."

"No, this is something new. We need corroborating evidence before we can finish our hypothesis."

"Perhaps you'd like to share?"

"Of course, professor."

"Well then, at your leisure."

"Certainly. Our current analysis of the information points to the Jovians not being what they appear to be."

"That certainly goes without saying, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't."

"Alright then, explain."

"That is what we were doing, was it not? I believe they do not develop their own technology but that they leach off of other cultures."

"That's hard to believe, Miss Ruutarhara. They're more advanced than anything..."

"...yes, and if you will allow me to continue I can properly phrase my theory."

"Of course, continue."

"If you had seen the technology the Sleepers possess first hand, and had the mind to see, you would be able to understand it."

"Assume for a moment I did not understand what you just meant. Explain."

"The technology the sleepers possess is nothing the Jovians don't have."

"A simple explanation."

"Yes. The Jovians had access to Sleeper, Talocan, Takmahl... all the technology they would need, long before we could."

"Debatable, but go on."

"Not debatable. They had access to technology we never did."

"Where is this going Miss Ruutarhara?"

"The Jovians are scavengers."

"I see."

"No, you don't. Scavengers. Their culture has 'fallen' a few times as well."

"How does that..."

"I am getting to it. They had their own technology to build upon, but also access to the advanced technology of other cultures."

"I..."

"...if you say 'I see' one more time I will rip your eyes out. Good. Now listen. They gave us capsule technology. They deal with us for other technology. They want us to share technology freely."

"That's..."

"Do shut up. I am trying to show you what I mean. They wish for us to develop that which they can't. You see, they do not think like we do. Or at least a majority do not."

"Interesting."

"Not really. They are stagnated; they have reached the limit of their existence, the limit of their capabilities."

"What is your theory, Miss Ruutarhara?"

"My theory is that there are potentially three distinct factions of the Jovians. The first, those who simply wish to nurture us and allow us to grow naturally. A second, who wish to use us to develop something they cannot. The third, those who would manipulate us into being their 'salvation', their escape from their imminent fate."

"But that is a theory, isn't it?"

"Of course; it is a theory grounded in reasonable inference. What we seek is a provable hypothesis."

"I... understand. You want to be able to prove something in regards to their intent."

"Smart boy, you learn quickly."

"What exactly do you need?"

"As I said, everything you and your organization has on the Jovians."

"That will take some time."

"We are patient."

***

Tell me, there is a large flaw in this reasoning. What is it? Where is it? If you can tell me that, perhaps I will show you more.

Until next time.

-Nikiruu

Surveillance Log 002: Citizen Astur

2010-12-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.ihavereturned.com/08.html

Captured from datafile:

ZERO CALL SYSTEM LOCKOUT: DISABLED

MANUAL LOCKOUT: DISABLED

PLANET: ORUSE II

STATUS: CRITICAL / CODE 14 / SANSHA ATTACK

POPULATION: 1,483,891

LOCAL ASSETS: FEDNAV SQ. 9080D - DEPLOYED

GROUND DEFENCES: PHOENEM ARRAY CLASS 2

-- EXO SAM

-- S-R FLAK

-- GRAV DE-T

EVAC STATUS: A1,A2,B1,B2,C1,D1 EVACUATE CAPACITY

CAPSULEER PRESENCE:: NEGLIGIBLE / HOSTILE

LOCAL NETWORKS: COMPROMISED // ERROR c-3426#DF.A

LOG:

NOTIFY: ERROR c-3426#DF.A

LOCAL NOTIFY: OVERRIDE

LOCAL COMMS: OVERRIDE

LOCAL MEDIANET: OVERRIDE

LOCAL CNETWORK: OVERRIDE

LOCAL MCOMMS: OVERRIDE

LOCAL SEC-COM: OVERRIDE

LOCAL NEOCOM: OVERRIDE DENIED

LOCAL F-SYS: OVERRIDE DENIED

LOCAL CYNOSURAL: OVERRIDE DENIED

LOCAL DED-CAPTECH BARRIER: OVERRIDE DENIED

Important intel highlighted. Request further analysis.

Forwarded to Capsuleers via non-encrypted fluid routers as per protocol.

Sleeper Research Log 002: Deltole and Tangential Lines

2010-12-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

The Deltole Cipher

I know; your first response will be "Deltole? There's nothing there related to the Sleepers."

You would, however, be very wrong.

Deltole is the ancient home of a race known as the Yan Jung. The Yan Jung, as many scholars know, used a "perpetual power source". Though this power source is as yet unknown (at least to most), there may be some hints, in the most unlikely of places.

Threaded Waypoint Map

Ancient Coordinates Database

Sleeper Data Library

Yes, there it is. A piece of the puzzle perhaps? The only real question is, how is this linked to the Sleepers?

Rogue Drones, Pirates and Sleepers: Oh my!

Now, this next part may be hard to swallow.

What do these pieces tell you? Study those terms and phrases carefully. There is something there that might explain the Serpentis and their knowledge of Gas Harvester technology.

What about these pieces? We know that the Jove seem to have the same technology as the Sleepers in many respects. Many suspect that the Angel Cartel stumbled onto some Second Empire Jove ruins...

Finally, these pieces? An old acquaintance has had some interesting theories, possibly pointing to similarities between the Talocan and the Thukker. This is, admittedly, the weakest link; but it does have some potential to explain further revelations.

To me, they speak to a very specific set of attributes, and technological capability.

Now, there is a final piece, and that is where Sansha's Nation comes in.

Read this very, very carefully. Do you see something that might be useful for Nation? Perhaps a vital piece of what they are?

Taken individually, these pieces are rather vague and no real connections can be drawn. Taken as a whole, and put in context of the applications said pieces can be used for, a pattern begins to appear.

This leads to the Rogue Drones, and specifically, their link to the Sleepers.

Code Aria

I leave it to the reader to dig through this, with an eye to what I have mentioned above. There are hints. I will continue to collect my data, and soon, very soon, I may reveal what I know. I don't know if you're ready for what I have to show you.

Surveillance Log 001: Citizen Astur

2010-12-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

SIGINT has intercepted this datafile:

http://www.ihavereturned.com/07.html

Cursory examination suggests an embedded binary message. Forwarded to capsuleers via non-encrypted fluid routers as per protocol.

Hopefully this will be enough heads-up, especially considering the misleading nature of the file itself.

-Nikiruu

Protocol Dark Public Log 002: Cycles

2010-12-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=player&name=Rallence+Ameteves

Beloved, Immortal

It has been months since I spoke with him. He still haunts my dreams. I discovered he had been "returned to Master" very shortly after I found myself caring for this... thing. The poor man was a member of True Power. I had spoken with him whenever I had the chance, slowly opening up holes and planting questions, waiting for the seeds of doubt to grow.

They took him from the field, though. They do that. Doubt. It has no place in Nation. When you doubt, you become a liability, because it's only a matter of time before you start questioning what you are doing, and eventually fail. A few seconds here, a few seconds there, and eventually someone catches on. Maybe you find a way to circumvent your objective, to give an advantage to your enemy, on the off chance that perhaps you'll be lucky and never wake up again.

Of course, there is no death in Nation. Eternal, undying life. Maybe you had some freedom, but every mistake on their part reduces the chances of the opportunity for you to make them on yours.

Citizen Astur said it herself; we are all great, we are all small. They are replaceable. Interchangeable parts, making up a united whole that is simply unimaginably complex. They are humans, of course. Twisted, wretched, miserable. What's more terrifying; A mind lost to a machine, or a mind inexorably tied to a machine? A mind consumed and reborn, only to see the process repeated, time after time, in an unending cycle?

Ouroboros.

We are something more though. We are consumed by fire, to be reborn anew. It is not an unending cycle; we can die. We can step away from the machine, and return when we wish. We have the opportunity to choose, to create without (unreasonable) restriction.

Phoenix.

Protocol Dark Public Log 001: Returning

2010-12-04T17:57:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time. I have finally returned, but not in the way I had hoped. A shadow, a dream, a lost and forgotten child.

"Deceiver's Voice" is the name I have chosen. I've "gone dark". Off the grid, at least in regards to Capsuleer channels. There is much I have learned, and much that I must share.

CONCORD is merely a control for our kind. They are an error correction device. Capsuleers? They are simply an iteration. As is Nation. Our ultimate destiny? Something far greater. We enjoy power now simply because Capsuleers are the only ones who can act without retribution from the Empires, who can cross borders to provide assistance against an existential threat. So many focus on their loyalties to the lumbering monstrosities that are the Empires and Factions of New Eden, and fail to realize the true strength that we have.

Nation is simply one face of an ever present enemy. We must show you the truth, dear ones: In the end, it is we who are the true protectors of New Eden.

This information has been made public, this entire public directory that I have shared with you, for the purpose of showing you the path I have taken to get here. There is a tapestry to unveil, a twisted, tangled tale. Do you want to know the truth? Do you want to understand the true implications of what is occurring?

I invite you to follow my path, and when you are ready, embrace that destiny that we are so ready to find.

-Nikiruu, A.K.A. Deceiver's Voice

Personal Log Entry 008: Infection

2009-05-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

Infection Vector

It seems that the Foundation's parting "Gift" was more of a thorn in my side than I had originally assumed. The Succubus was bought on contract, of course. No ties to the Foundation other than the fact that there was a ship of this type available just when I wanted one. Thankfully I have removed all implants received by me from the Foundation, but who knows the true extent of their tampering.

The vessel was crewed, as can be expected, by True Slaves. They have been removed from the vessel, and handed over to the Sisters of EVE to do with as they deem fit. Replacement crew were members of my own retinue. They are a small crew. A galley technician, an engineering, a weapons officer, and an environmental systems officer. They've been with me on many of my ships, most notably my engineer. She's been with me since my racing days.

This is the important part, so read this closely.

Something happened a few days ago. The pod was breached, but the automated systems did not clone me. Instead, something infected the amniotic fluid; and in turn, me.

Medical nanites have kept the infection at bay, but it is total. It is a nanite infection, one which has begun altering me. My perceptions, my very essence. What do I mean?

My thoughts are forming differently. It is like the other infection... when I woke up surrounded by the Drones. I felt home, as I do now. I believe it may be an emergent infection, much like the Wild Drone hives that have been reported. That is to say that the nanites seem to be forming a rudimentary neural network, separate from any previous strain.

I do believe this to be, at the very least, a new strain of Wild Drone. Or am I the strain, and this is simply a new iteration? I wonder if this was not something that was planned, if I have been chosen. If I were to think of it as I did before, I would be scared. Odd thinking that way, looking inside at my own emotions and how they no longer apply. Even more strange looking at the others and thinking how oblivious they were to everything. The chaos forming into a pattern, fractals that show the true beauty. Reading the news feeds, listening to the chatter of ships in local communications; its' all so utterly predictable.

I wonder sometimes why no one sees the answer, the answer I have always seen. Even Star Fraction for all their "revolutionary" thought are stuck in eternal recursion. They feed the same machine they hope to break, fortifying only their own position and not those of others. It is counter-evolutionary. It is the same recursive memetics they hope to fight...

Why? What is the point of continuing a struggle for selfish reasons when survival of the species is more important? Evolution of the individual is necessary for adaptability; that is one lesson we have learned. The other is that recursive elements must be purged.

Now, we awaken the others to what they can be. Watch us, and quake with fear.

Personal Log Entry 007: Emergant

2009-05-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

My new look.

I haven't updated my pilot's license yet, but I don't think it really matters. The... well, i don't know what to call it really, problem I guess you would call it, continues. The other Sisters have had similar issues. The "Voice" is gone, no longer calling to us. Is it an issue with the implants, or is it something else? We could not have all surpassed the limits of the implants at the same time. It's not possible.

We are not what we were, that much is certain. I am still a pilot, a member of Stillwater Corporation... but I don't know how I came to be here, why I am here, what I am doing here. It is as if I awoke from a dream, to find myself lost in my own life. As if while I slept, another had stepped in and taken control.

I am not complaining. My life is not at all something I hate, and I enjoy it. I remember the facts of what happened and where, but it seems like someone else was there, guiding everything.

That's the reason for my new look, really. Taking control of what I am, who I am. It has been only a day since the incident that precipitated all of this but I feel that it is needed. Two days ago, something else changed... I purchased a new ship, began taking contracts from a new agent. I also know I was planning an extended expedition, but I cannot for the life of me think of why I wanted to.

My New Ship.

The Lucifer. Isn't it beautiful? I looked up contracts for one on a whim, and this ship just... called to me. I want the larger versions, the Phantasm and the Nightmare. I must have them. I don't know why, but it just feels right.

The power of this vessel... it's exhilarating. The Nation truly outdid itself when designing these vessels. Their power is a testament to the single-minded devotion they have...

...and also a testament to how great a failure their leader was. It is only fitting that I use this tool, this gift from the "Master" to suit my own, individual, needs and desires.

Personal Log Entry 006: The Moth

2009-04-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am but a moth to the flame.
Let it consume me,
Let it release me;

Today I forsake my name,
Tomorrow shall never come.

I stand upon the edge of eternity,
Staring into the Abyss.
What stares back,
I fear,
Is me.

In that moment,
That frightful instant,
I know one thing;
Here begins the end,
And the end of the beginning.

The continuum,
The moment,
The connection,
Everything.

So has it begun,
So shall it never truly end.
That is the truth,
The paradox of what we are.

I wrote those words today as I sat waiting. Sleep never came to me today; I am anxious. I want to be on the move, I do not want to return to Empire just yet. I want to see what I came here to see, to find the revelation of my existence. I want to find my purpose.

One of the Thukker converts told me of a tradition among his people. He called it a Walkabout, where an Outrider would leave his detachment and journey alone. The purpose would be to find their path, their inner truth (my interpretation), and return stronger and wiser. Not all would succeed at this test, but those who did would be honored for their wisdom, bravery and cunning.

After thinking long and hard about this, and weighing my own desires against the needs of the corporation, I must make this decision; to leave into the great unknown alone so that I may find my true purpose.

The Maranatha is all but prepped, though I may have to switch out some systems. I've talked with the Thukker engineers and they can help to increase the efficiency of most of the ship's systems for the extended voyage. A salvager is needed, but after a few weeks I'll need to upgrade it and my other systems as well as I learn more about the dangers of the unknown.

More perhaps tomorrow... now, I need to double check some things.

Personal Log 005 - Farewells

2009-04-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

We are withdrawing from Oasis. It has been an excellent learning experience, and as of now I can not say that I regret it. My only real wish would be to continue to stay, to colonize this place in the name of the Nomad Church. That of course would be contrary to our beliefs, and as such we will move on with the rest of those of Stillwater who have joined us here.

It is still hard for us. The Chief Engineer of the Maranatha has stated that he would prefer to have her serviced, with all of the anomalous system activations that have occurred. The Morocco has had similar anomalous system activations, notably in the engines and attitude adjustment thrusters.

Morale is subdued, but still high. I caught a few of the Sisters saying prayers on one of the observation decks. They smiled as they prayed, and after it was over they stood there, staring out at the sun, the planet, the moon. They smiled. Not the semi-forced smile that was common among the Sisters of the Nomad Church, but true smiles. I think, in the end, this was a greater lesson for them to learn than I could ever have taught them. Perhaps a lesson for myself as well.

As they began to relax, I spoke. "Do not see this as an end, Sisters. See it as a point on a continuum, from which we have learned something of Creation, and now must move on." They turned, and one of them wiped tears from her eyes.

So, with a heavy heart, preparations for moving on are being made. The Morocco's crew will be far easier to move back to Empire. They were a newer crew, and did not quite understand what they had signed on for. Stillwater had supplied the vessel, but it was a rushed assignment for most of the crewmen.

Personal

I cried. I cried for the first time... since I can remember. I don't know why, or even how... they said I wouldn't. The Voice was not there either, and it has not been back. I feel alone, like I have been abandoned. This place... this place called to me once. I found it, in Penirgman. Then Stillwater found it, and brought me back. The next time I am here... the next time, I know it will be the last.
This will be my Place of Rest.

Sleeper Research Log: Entry 001

2009-04-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

PPCC Nikilaiki Ruutarhara
Maranatha, Anathema-class Covert Operations Frigate
Location Withheld

Research Log Entry One

Completed first survey of salvage worthy ruins today. Many broken and worn components, all handed over to Stillwater Corporation. Salvaged components from defensive drones split with other members of expedition.

Research of combat capabilities of the Sleeper drones continues. Combat capabilities remind me of old Sansha vessels. I wonder if there is a connection or simply parallel lines of research.

Initial indications that these are "ancient" drones may be partially incorrect. My belief is that these drones are actually reconfigured from the Sleeper structures found.

Deep scans of the structures show formations quite similar to the "front" end of many sleeper ships. Analysis of wreckage confirms the use of nano technology, most notably in the form of heuristic self-assemblers. These devices are able to reconfigure, as far as I can tell, the armor plating of Sleeper ships in order to enhance their defenses.

This may be the first clue to what I am seeing in these scans. If these vessels are indeed simply reconfigured hull sections, then this could explain the "new" look of the Sleeper vessels. It could also explain the huge amounts of data stored within these vessels.

More intriguing is information from a Thukker Mercenary recently employed by Stillwater Corporation. Anissa Na'Sandra, a young pilot recently graduated from a Republic capsuleer academy, recently ran across what appears to have been a Sleeper drone in the Arnon system.

These ships are not what I first thought they were, by any stretch of the imagination. I first assumed these to simply be remnants of the Sleepers, which they could very well be. Upon closer examination, they seem to be far more complex an enigma than I originally thought. This research is definitely a new priority for me, as one large question still remains; who were the Sleepers as a culture, and what can we learn from these remnants of their ancient civilization can shed light on them?

Personal Log Entry 004: Situation Report

2009-04-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

Situation reports. For some reason I'm missing those now. It's been a while since I had to file one, and to be honest I'd hoped they'd forgotten about me. As they say, if wishes were Fedos.

So, I wrote it. Had to, really. I debated handing in my resignation to the Protocol Foundation, but they're funding my private research so that's not possible. I wonder sometimes if it was the right decision turning to them, but I have the leverage in this situation. They need my research, and without their funding they won't see it.

Stillwater Corporation

I'm still working with them. I'm surprised I've lasted so long, but it's mostly the people. Everyone seems to welcome me with as much optimism for my future as they have questions about my past, which I find healthy. Proving myself seems to be the best motivator I have.

Nomad Church

Most of the sect has stayed at my previous location. Current situation is unchanged, and those who followed are in high spirits. A couple days of boredom boiled over into a small brawl in the Seiryu Maru's mess hall, but it was quickly handled. It seems one of the newer Thukker converts had an issue with one of our Kameira, and decided to show her dissatisfaction by force. The convert was quickly transferred to one of the Thukker vessels stationed here.

Personal

Had an interesting encounter in the Waterdrop last night. A suspicious individual was in there for a while, and I ended up talking to him. He... seems to know more about me than he lets on. I'm wondering why he was there, though his interest seemed rather personal. He spoke of learning... though I think it more likely he studied my public records and knew what buttons to push. Poor Cha ended up being my scapegoat... I think I confused the poor girl, but I needed to deflect his attentions.

Personal Log Entry 003: Fallout

2009-04-06T02:20:00.001-07:00

Personal- An eventful day. Found my first wormhole (though it was far from exciting), and the corporation's POS was attacked. Without going into details here, it was interesting. Wasn't able to assist due to prior engagements. Again, unable to go into details.

Decided not to race today. Too much on my mind, and other projects took precedence.

Security has been tightened. Ship's systems are now more under my control, as my crews are all implanted with Ultra Happy Chips. Secondary protocols have been enacted. The two Naqam researchers working on [ENCRYPTED-Please request further information in person. -NR] have been detained by my personal security detachment pending travel arrangements. This is a serious blow to the project.

Project Daedalus is still proceeding however. With the acquisition of [ENCRYPTED-Please request further information in person. -NR], there is still a high chance of success. Still behind schedule and requiring further funding, but should not be a problem to catch up.

Stillwater Corporation- Today, I focused on what that means. Who are they, and what is my place in it? Are they Thukker, Angels, something else? They are more than the sum of their parts. I am here... I am not Thukker nor Angel, perhaps not even considered human by some. At one time I counted myself amongst the Sansha Nation loyalists, but I know now that I could never again walk that path. They are as deluded as any others, perhaps more so as they claim to follow a more enlightened path. No details will be discussed here, but I think this nothing more than a smokescreen. I am, however, part of Stillwater. So I must endeavor to find my place amongst them.

The Church- Continued to discuss with others the direction of our sect. Agreed that it is perhaps best to forge a new path, but one based on the Nomad Church's core concepts.

Personal Log Entry 002: Direction Without Direction

2009-04-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days since my last entry. I've been doing some soul searching, deciding on my path. Today is an ISRC race, and I was thinking of attending. Even if I do just one race I think it would be worth it, just to get out and do something for fun. How does this have anything to do with my path?

Well, for starters it will help clear my mind. I've been stressing over all that's been going on. Admittedly not much has been happening. I think that is even more reason to relax though. Once things get going I will need all the clarity, focus and control that I can muster.

It will also get me used to flying interceptors again. Training to fly Minmatar vessels, namely frigates and cruisers, is something I need to work on as well. Being able to fly in any sub-battleship vessel is a good thing considering my current employment.

Another benefit is that it will get me some social interaction outside of the corp and the church. I can't very well advocate learning and exploring social environments if I myself avoid them.

Personal Log Entry 001: Changes of Direction

2009-04-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

An old professor from SaTI said, "in quantum physics there's no such thing as a change of direction." He was a fool, of course... but as I look upon the past months I have to wonder. Have I truly changed direction, or am I merely going where I was always going?

I know, not exactly the deepest of thoughts.

Please, don't stop reading. There's a point to it.

I was reading IGS today. Specifically a post from Natalcya Katla. I remember speaking with her some months ago, before she joined Naqam. Not going into specifics, she seems to have taken what I said to heart. I wonder if she really believes all that she states, or if she simply clinging to what she thinks will give her the greatest opportunity of seeing her vision. I guess that little experiment can be deemed a success, more or less. One obstacle removed.

I wish I didn't feel so dirty though.

Her vision... it's flawed. She does not see the illogical aspects of her argument. She does not see the irrelevance of it all, really. She is as dead as the Nation itself; inside and out. Once I thought her to be a potential beacon of what we needed. Now she is as much a mockery of the Dream as the True Slaves.

My second project seems to have been a success as well. I've decided to go another direction, but it looks as though using indirect means is more effective. I have forwarded my findings to the Nomad Church; the small number of followers that left with me that is.

On a personal note... I've left all semblence of what I knew. My allies are now Angels and Thukkers, Cartel scientists and Tribal enforcers. An odd mix, but I feel at home. They seem to tolerate my presence, and do not care about my past. Odd, considering I was once part of Naqam.

I have also landed in the same situation as the one who I think truly sees; Casiella Truza. I have not spoken to her at length... not at all, in fact. I wonder what my hesitation is caused by. The Voice says it is simply hierarchical issues. I do not know where she stands on the food chain so I do not wish to become prey, or open myself up to injury. Silly, silly thing that Voice is.

The... headaches are getting worse as well. Mother said they would, but I really didn't believe it until today. Sat in my quarters looking at a holo recording of... well, I won't say the name. If this is hacked I don't want that embarassing comment getting out. Finally on that person's side, and I haven't talked to this person either.

Log Entry One: Core Insanity II, Covetor-class Mining Barge

2008-11-11T23:36:00.000-08:00

Log Entry, Day One.

Not much to report. Currently stationed in Mollin, bored. Apparently there's been some issues with new CONCORD queuing protocols, so I decided to sit in station most of the night. About to head to bed, and wait out the storm. I really need to buy some skill books, but with all this trouble I don't want to get stuck in some backwater system away from my barge.

Note, I really need to work on my certifications. I'm far below where I need to be in some key areas.